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Half And Half

    Mrs. Murphy is very fat, and the other day, laden with parcels and packages, she was trying to mount the steps of a Dublin tramcar. Helplessly looking on, stood the conductor, a diminutive little chap.

    Mrs. Murphy, having reached the platform, said, with a glance of withering scorn: "If ye was half a man ye would have helped me up."

    The little conductor calmly replied: "Shure, ma'am, if ye was half a woman I would!"

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